Violence-free communication. Gandhi: The doctrine of the sword

Many coaches and consultants advise the practice of violent-free communication for organizations and enterprises. Under such circumstances it is useful to listen to M.Gandhi, one of the most known practitioners of what he used to call the ‘path of the non-violent warrior’.

Gandhi: “…. I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force, which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him it was his duty to defend me even by using violence… Hence also do I advocate training in arms for those who believe in the method of violence. I would rather have India resort to arms in order to defend her honor than that she should in a cowardly manner become or remain a helpless witness to her own dishonor.

But I believe that nonviolence is infinitely superior to violence, forgiveness is more manly than punishment. Forgiveness adorns the soldier. But abstinence is forgiveness only when there is power to punish: it is meaningless when it pretends to proceed form a helpless creature. A mouse hardly forgives a cat when it allows itself to be torn to pieces by her.

Let me not be misunderstood. Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. An average Zulu is any way more than a match for an average Englishman in bodily capacity. But he flees from an English boy, because he fears the boy’s revolver or those who will use it for him. He fears death and is nerveless in spite of his burly figure. We in India may in a moment realize that 100,000 Englishmen need not frighten 300 million human beings. A definite forgiveness would therefore mean a definite recognition of our strength. With enlightened forgiveness must come a mighty wave of strength in us, which would make it impossible … to heap affront upon India’s devoted head. It matters little to me that for the moment I do not drive my point home. We feel too downtrodden not to be angry and revengeful. But I must not refrain from saying that India can gain more by waiving the right of punishment. We have better work to do, a better mission to deliver to the world…..

Nonviolence in its dynamic condition means conscious suffering. It does not mean meek submission to the will of the evildoer, but it means the putting of one’s whole soul against the will of the tyrant. Working under the law of our being, it is possible for a single individual to defy the whole might of an unjust empire to save his honor, his religion, his soul, and lay the foundation for that empire’s fall or its regeneration.

And so I am not pleading for India to practice nonviolence, because she is weak. I want her to practice nonviolence being conscious of her strength and power. No training in arms is required for realization of her strength. …nonviolent noncooperation a trial and they will find that I had no mental reservation whatsoever.”

The horse shows the way

“I was returning from high school one day and a runaway horse with a bridle speed passed a group of us into a farmer’s yard, looking for a drink of water. The farmer didn’t recognize it so I jumped up to the horse’s back, took hold of the reins and said ‘Giddy-up’ and headed for the highway. I knew the horse would take me to the right direction; I didn’t know what the right direction was. And the horse trotted and galloped along. Now and then he would forget he was on an highway and would start off into a field. So I would pull on him a bit and call his attention to the fact that the highway was where he was supposed to be.”

“And finally about four miles from where I had boarded him he turned into a farmyard and the farmer said, ‘So that’s how the critter came back. Where did you find him?’ I said, ‘about four miles from here.’ ‘How did you know he should come here?’ I said, ‘I didn’t know; the horse knew. All I did was keep his attention on the road.’; I think that is how you do psychotherapy.”

In coaching, your conscious mind is the rider, and your unconscious mind is the horse. Rather than trying to rigidly and scientifically script all life out of your suggestions and inductions, why not relax a little? This doesn’t mean charging in blindly, with no goals, and it definitely does NOT mean ignoring planning! It means you have an overarching plan or outline, but allow yourself to be guided by your intention. Be flexible, be creative, go with the flow, while keeping yourself on course, and you’ll be amazed by just how easy hypnosis – and life – really can be.

Forget the intention, and you’ll fall off into chaos. Forget the flexibility, and you’ll choke in orderly boredom. Give being chaordic a shot, and you may find your hypnosis improving 100 fold!